Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize