We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
A bitchslap is in order.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
