If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
