this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
