I heard we made out
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
