he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
