Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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