its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
