C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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