you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
