Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize