dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
