he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We had to coat check the pizza.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Holy shit dude........stairs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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