The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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