so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
