next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
