The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
