Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
