well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Boobs are out for the taking
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
