were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
