Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
