its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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