If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
