and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
