he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize