there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
