I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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