Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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