I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize