But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
