hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Please, let me fuck your mom
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
