I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
