Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize