You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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