He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
