And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
