I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
