I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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