she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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