he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
