So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
