were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
