what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
