yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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