Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
