we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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