Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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