So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize