I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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