just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
