girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Panties = found
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