i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
