It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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