I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
