Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
