Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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