I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love having hate sex.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
