I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
