We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
