I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
