Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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