I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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